Taming Table Tantrums

You know how critical it is for a toddler to consume a balanced, fruit-and-veggie-rich diet. Unfortunately, your little one may not have gotten the memo. There’s a good chance that if your toddler isn’t shoving away his or her dinner plate because the corn is touching the peaches, he or she is flailing on the floor because you insist the child eat one more broccoli tree before getting a cookie.

But the dinner table doesn’t have to be a war zone. According to Christina Schmidt, MS, a nutritionist and certified nutrition educator, your toddler's personality plays a huge role when it comes to how he or she will respond to new foods. It's important to understand your child's personality as you're presenting a lovingly prepared dish. For example, independent children may prefer to have their own toddler-sized eating area, while a child with a short attention span may be prone to grazing, rarely sitting down for an entire meal. If "no" is your tyke's favorite word, then offer limited choices so there are fewer things to which he or she can vote against eating. “While it may be difficult to keep your cool, just remain calm as your little one is testing your limits,” says Schmidt.

"Try to understand your child's point of view," she adds. "A big new world of discovery surrounds your child every day. He or she needs to feel in control of some part of it. Work with your child's personality to help him or her ease into trying new foods. Stay consistent and soon enough your toddler's nutritional outlook will change."

Also, don't confuse palate preferences with an absent appetite, notes Schmidt. In general, your toddler's growth rate slows in comparison to the first year, so don't be alarmed if the insatiable hunger of infancy fades into a more casual interest in food as you move into the toddler years. That bowl of oatmeal your toddler used to eat in one sitting may now sit cold on the table, and that once-beloved cheese offering is no longer something over which your child jumps for joy. If this sounds familiar, Schmidt says not to despair. Chances are it's not that your child no longer enjoys eating those foods—he or she is probably just not as hungry as he used to be.

"Due to their fluctuating appetites, skipping a meal or two is normal for most toddlers," Schmidt explains. "It's very important to allow them to listen to their own internal hunger cues. Healthy toddlers self-regulate their food intake surprisingly well. While it's perfectly normal for most toddlers to fast at times, you should still call your doctor if you feel that their fasting is unusual or excessive. Also, be aware of appetite busters such as grazing, teething, colds, ear infections, fatigue, stress, inactivity, filling up on fluids such as milk or juice before a meal, and short attention spans. If you feel that any of these might be the culprit for your meal-skipping toddler, just make the appropriate adjustments so you can get back on track.”

Schmidt notes that giving up too soon and labeling your toddler as a certain type of eater is the No. 1 mistake parents make concerning their children’s eating habits. Research shows that it takes introducing a food eight to 15 times before it may be accepted by the child.

"Children will respond by behaving in the way that gets them attention," adds Schmidt. "If they are labeled as picky, they will act that way and thus exacerbate the problem. Try not to react dramatically if your child turns his nose up to a food and resist the urge to label him as the 'hater of all that is green.' He will pick up on your reaction and repeat his behavior again and again. Remain nonchalant and try to offer the food in question again at a later date. Remember to try at least 10 times and to try different cooking methods and presentation techniques to make the food more interesting."

Schmidt says allowing children to participate in age-appropriate tasks in the kitchen such as stirring and measuring ingredients gives them a sense that they participated in the process of preparing their meals. The sense of pride and ownership they feel will make them excited to share the food with the rest of the family and therefore more likely to become a participating member at mealtimes.

Parents should also try to avoid succumbing to the ease and/or general acceptance of fast food. "Not surprisingly, toddlers who regularly eat fast food have higher intakes of fat, salt, cholesterol, and calories in addition to lower intakes of vitamins, minerals, and fiber," says Schmidt. "That's why it's important not to make fast food a habit. Sure, it's OK on occasion but only in moderation. And when the drive thru is unavoidable, it's best to steer clear of battered, creamy, saucy, salty, and giant-sized selections."

In addition, avoid other childhood obesity culprits. You should also avoid feeding your toddler fried foods, processed meats, candy, desserts, and sweetened drinks such as sodas and juices. Most fried foods not only add saturated fat but also sugar or salt to the diet. In addition, the high temperatures used during frying cause a carcinogenic chemical called acrylamide to form. Processed meats to avoid include bologna, bacon, hot dogs, and sausages. These are all high in sodium, carcinogenic nitrites, and saturated fat. Candy and desserts are high in sugar and saturated fat, and some can even contain synthetic trans fats.

The good news is that most kid-favorite comfort foods can be easily adapted into healthier versions. Choose whole wheat or whole grain pasta for macaroni and cheese and use a cheese that is low in sodium and contains no artificial flavors or colors. Grilled cheese sandwiches can be baked with whole grain bread and healthy cheeses that contain no artificial additives. You can make your own fries by slicing potatoes or sweet potatoes into fry shapes, tossing them in a little olive or canola oil, and roasting them on a baking sheet. For pizza, you can buy premade whole wheat pizza dough at the market and roll it out into a thin crust. Top with a low-sodium pizza sauce and sprinkle on some low-fat mozzarella cheese.

Your children also learn a lot from you, and they are picking up on your habits whether you realize it, so make sure you are setting a healthy example. Eat healthy foods in front of your children, and when you're out at a restaurant or buffet, make good choices and help them learn how to fill their own plates with balanced meals.